Bella: I wish you well on your Journey!

Dear sweet Bella, I shall never  forget you, but I've finally come to realize  I cannot afford to care for a cat who is sick, and  in  her own way, unhappy being confined to this small apartment when  I  am gone so much.  We made it over a year, but in recent months you've been  peeing on the very rugs that I need for my own comfort.  I've tried natural remedies, even white vinegar, but it  feels like a way you are protesting being  here, and you have this need to really run.  This isn't much space for your wild side.
     I am sad we could not find anyone to share you with, but I've yet to find an eager neighbor, or friend.  I feel badly when I get so angry when you keep peeing outside the litter box.  The animal  shelter will not take an adult cat back when they still have many kittens, and even then, they'd charge me $60.  I tried finding you a home on  Craigslist,  and got no local responses, even  offering all your familiar stuff, food and litter to go with you.   My life has felt very stressful trying to find good new caregivers, and that is still not totally settled.   I don't feel you like it when Jerry comes even though he tries to play with you, you don't appreciate that I do want to be with him too, and that often means leaving you overnight more than you like. 
   So today when a doctor  I trust suggested letting you be free by taking you out to Emigrant Lake, since there  is no place for you that I have found in a  shelter or home, I realized this felt right.  So thanks  to Deborah helping  get you in your carrier, I drove to the Lake and let you go near the old cemetery,  a place where you may find a new family while we're having good weather for a few days here, without rain.  Or you may want  to enjoy your  freedom and learn  to use your eager hunting skills.  I have made an altar with plants and your photo, and I envision after you get over the surprise of being somewhere so new, your curiosity and friendliness will serve you well.  My hope is you'll find a way to survive and even thrive or find a new home.  I needed to let you move on so my living space is more manageable.  We had a sweet cuddle as I napped with you this afternoon, and we may both miss that part.  I love you, Bella, and I've learned it is better at this timing in my life to not have  a pet; my circumstances don't allow you  to be indoors and outdoors, and I suspect you would love a situation  where that is possible. Thank you  for being such a sweetheart, but I cannot tolerate the peeing, nor am I prepared to deal with  the cost if the vet bills start to add up.  I  hope you enjoy your new life and I shall never forget the time we have been able to share together!