ON BECOMING A COACH PLAYERS LISTEN TO
In the game of
life, there are times we all need a coach who stands up for us, inspires us,
has the concern for our well-being to learn what moves and motivates us.
Watching a
Hallmark movie about Second Chances portrayed an injured firefighter who knew
the value of having a buddy to back you and a team that hangs in there with
you, even when you are taken out of the line of duty by an injury. When he found an affordable place to
rent with a kind single mom for a landlady, his buddies came to visit, giving
him the moral support he needed to accept this shift in his circumstances.
Wisely, the
mother understood these guys were his family, his buddies, his support
system. Her two bright kids liked
him right away. Their own dad had
walked out on the family when they were three and five, and the mom needed a
renter when her job hours were cut back.
The firefighter was clearly grateful to be in this home where he knew he
was safe and his teammates could visit.
In his years of fighting fires, he had learned to be a team player, to
face danger with integrity and courage.
He had learned to listen to his own boss and buddies, and in a special
way, he became the dad-figure these kids needed, someone to stand up for them
and protect them when they got into trouble. A good parent, mom or dad, has the strength, the discipline,
the courage and the compassion of a good coach, willing to be there even when
the team is struggling and facing real adversities.
The two kids, maybe
eight and ten now, decided to offer to read to seniors in a nursing home,
stories from their hearts that they had written and some classics too; they
charged $1 a visit, and did their business without first getting the
supervisor’s okay. In this way,
they were saving money to help their mom with family expenses.
When they got
caught, the supervisor told them they hadn’t paid taxes, gotten her approval,
and they were wrong to be there, and had to stop. When the firefighter heard of their services being rejected,
he called to make an appointment to speak with the supervisor. The kids realized he was an adult to be
trusted and he cared enough not just to play with them, but stand by them when
they were in trouble. He didn’t
change the supervisor’s mind, but she did realize their intentions were good,
so allowed them to keep on reading to these lonely folks who treasured these
sweet kids for caring about them in such a personal way, giving them love and
attention.
The firefighter
discovered his dad (who had died fighting a fire when this man was 10) had a
best friend in this home, who quietly told him his dad would have wanted him to
be happy, to get on with his life and be open to love and a family of his
own. This encouragement was a
turning point, for he was in love with the children and their mom, and his
rarely-spoken grief from losing his own dad had kept him single, living for his
job and not open to love for himself. So in a way, this elderly buddy of his dad, his
firefighting buddies, and the kids who could see the caring and tenderness
unfolding between their mom and this new man in her life were coaches in his
life journey.
There are times when
we are the coach, encouraging those who feel despair, betrayal, separation, and
confusion that keeps someone from believing they are lovable and worthy of
respect. There are times we need
the wisdom and encouragement of folks who can coach us, helping us accept the
support we need and believe in our dreams and ourselves. Sometimes the unwritten rules need to
be reviewed and changed when the inner critic tells us we aren’t worthy or
capable of being loved and treasured by others.
In the photos above, the first is a gathering of SOU runners. Two were my caregivers for a year, and they knew the camaraderie of being on a winning team for years, often running in practice up to 80 miles a week, even in the heat of summer. They were there for one another when injured too, inspiring each other and making long-term friendships. The second photo was taken three years ago, at a small celebration of my birthday with a few of my friends, some of whom have been my coaches in tough times. Coaches come into our lives if we are open, ready to learn, and open our hearts to the unknown! Coaches come in all ages, not just our elders!
