TRUSTING THE SACRED LIGHT WITHIN

OH, Divine Light within and surrounding us, help us feel your comfort, your guidance, your protection,  your Love that allows us to be at peace.  Allow our hearts to soften and  trust your devotion, your support no matter what our circumstances.  Please unbind us from unhealthy cords to the worries, fears, concerns, and obligations we may still carry from others, or even from past lives.  Help us let go what is not our own truth, that our hopes and dreams may begin to unfold in earnest, with the support of our joy guides, our angelic friends in unknown realms and even in human form now.   Help us trust all the work we have done to be more open, more in touch with our own true nature is not in vain.  Help us forgive those who have harmed us, intentionally or not, and may we forgive ourselves and others too, for making mistakes is part of our learning to be more discerning.  In this season of Thanksgiving, may we put our attention on the blessings in our lives, and realize we, too, may be a blessing to others with our kind thoughts, healing words and touch, gentle ways of being. 
     The early Pilgrims endured much hardship and loss of friends, health, everything familiar that they left behind when they sailed from England.  Yet they took time to give thanks, to share with one another, and learn from the native folks who helped them survive by planting crops that were unfamiliar to them.  May we continue to learn from one another, giving thanks, trusting more, fearing less so Joy and Wonder fill our days.  Time to put on some warmer clothing, and attend to the needs of my patient body!

It is a sacred time for New Beginnings

This is a sacred time.  This spring we saw amazing rings around Mt. Shasta.  In the summer heat, wildfires purged many of our forests; Mother Nature told us loud and clear we need to listen and respect her, walk in better balance with her rhythms.
    And now the rare star of David came in July to herald the birth of a new king, perhaps to herald the birth of a new Era where charisma and power will be aligned with a very different kind of leadership, one that honors the heavenly bodies, the Earth Mother, not the false gods of personal greed and capital ventures that harm our environment and destroy the very air we breath, water we drink, oceans and soils that have given and sustained life for millennium.
   As we gather to honor the changing seasons, let us also make time for solitude and reflective moments so our course is more true to our unfolding talents.  It is a time to pay attention to our bodies, our sacred vessels that allow us to better enjoy this earthwalk. 
   It may be a time to quietly, or boisterously, create rituals that honor those who have died, and also give guidance , courage,  and inner strength to  those of us still living.  Yesterday I heard a coyote story about grieving souls crossing the great river into the Land of the Dead. They learned their loved ones who had died did not want to come back, but had made peace with their transition, and wanted their living partners to return, to be doing their work in the Land of the Living.  Grieving can help us be more open, more vulnerable, and it can give us resolve to move on, accepting our losses and learning resilience from their gifts.
  If we are to become stronger from enduring losses as we grow older, we need to be attentive to our blessings and our lessons, and not be frozen in fears that make us unable to be present, to enjoy the simple pleasures in our daily living.  It's a new Dawn.  May we arise and honor it!

Grieving Needs Balance with Self-Care Measures

In recent months my family has celebrated the life of my mom and dad with a memorial service in the Sierra (see photo of my sister and son, Jeff), a dear friend Mary died unexpectedly of a heart attack, Alex, one of my favorite caregivers has stepped down and I am getting used to Shira, Alex's replacement.  The seasons are again changing, and my vision makes it unsafe for me to drive much at night for 6-8 months of the year.  My companion for several years, Curtis, has multiple health issues and feels unsafe driving out of Chico, so I phone him just to chat, and send him e-mails with a few i-photos he might enjoy.
    With aging comes loss, some expected, some sudden, with little time to adapt to the necessary changes.  It helps me to celebrate simple pleasures, like preparing an interesting potluck dish when my energy is at its best, or saying yes to a chance to dance, or attend a special concert with a neighbor.  Sunshine and simple exercises always help me, and I've just begun a class on Stillness Midst the Chaos, where we're learning mindful meditations to help us be more relaxed, present, and okay with whatever arises in our day.
    The driftwood photo above evokes the memory of walking the beach, listening to the waves, and the sound of young children making forts and laughing, oblivious to the fact it is windy and cold.  I have always loved arranging driftwood, and as a child, I'd make gifts for family out of driftwood and manzanita and pinecones. Yesterday I delighted in making a collage to hang of  the fun time in the mountains and a Davis park with my sons, Adrienne, and granddaughters, Taryn and Eliza.  Even midst the waves of grief or focus on loss, it sure helps to pay attention to what is working, what still gives joy.
    Self-care means honoring routines that nurture me on my own, and it means being with others in ways that don't drain me.  Tonight I'll be part of eight women sharing a potluck dinner, and soon I shall get outside to enjoy a warm and sunny autumn day.  This is enough for now!
    Carol  October 5, 2013

It's A Hot Summer: A Day in My Life

                                    FRIENDS, IT’s HOT  THIS SUMMER!           

            Dear Family and Friends,

                        I awake to news on the radio it will be 102 here today, hotter than Redding yet another day.  Harder to sleep at night, for it doesn’t cool off till way beyond midnight.

Plans that require thinking need to happen while the day is young.  So I’d like to share a bit of yesterday, for it was a mixture of listening to longings, gentle friendships, hanging in there when the weather is too darn hot to be outside very much.

            I awoke with hopes of getting to the outdoor pool for the first time this summer; it is only open for seniors now on Sunday mornings, 9-11.   I’ve had an injured baby toe for two weeks that throbs if I walk too much, so cool water and sunlight sound so inviting.

I put on plenty of sunscreen, pack to go, water myself, prepare my morning tea, and try to walk that balance between courage to get out there and discretion, given the weather.

            After a light breakfast, I do get to the pool by 10:15,  after my warm-up doing feldenkrais exercises in bed with full-spectum lights-my pineal gland does need light to get going, and I have windows only to the west, letting in little morning light.

            The pool feels delicious, and the swimmer in me begins her slow laps, so grateful to finally be here, without  the noisiness and crowdedness of the YMCA pool; there I’ve been patiently building stamina and balance, but it’s nothing like fresh open  air, swimming in the sunshine before the day is too hot.  This may be my “worship” when I am home in the Sundays ahead, for my body thrives on movement as well as good company with kindred spirits.  I dry off after 8 laps, in the sunshine my too white body needs right now.  Then I drive to church, catching the coffee hour, missing the service, so I visit a bit, have some herbal tea and a cookie (nothing healthy today) and drive to the Ashland Food Co-op for some salad greens, a few cold deli items, and the weekly flyer of specials so I can plan my grocery list for the week.  Home by 12:30 so I can crank up the fans, work on a hem for a camisole to wear in this heat.  I eat and rest, then have a short but lovely visit  with my good friend Susan, a shaman spending this summer as park host at Howard Prairie with her husband.  It’s 89 degrees there, and she is frazzled by the demands of the Sunday check-out, for the campgrounds are very full Thurs-Sunday, with fewer duties, less chaos and more quiet time Mon.-Wed.  The job is free rent, but no pay, so she works three caregiving shifts in Ashland for some income.  As a former back-country park ranger, it’s still a shock to see so many folks who leave trash, light fires when the fire danger is so high, and generally have little respect for the beauty and needs of the land.  I am her mail contact, and her son has sent her new debit card, as the bank won’t let her get it in person.  We hug after our 10 min visit, and she is off to caregive and get groceries before dark.  She and Geno could take over the Emigrant Lake host duties, but that park has no shade, so even without internet access (she works on line, too) it’s better to stay where they are, much as it tries their patience.  Folks go thee from the upper Rogue Valley, and the Ashland types try to hang out at the Greensprings and Hyatt Lake areas, but being new to camp hosting as a job, they don’t have seniority  or they’d be on the coast in the summer.

            I try to rest again, and am awakened by a phone call from the fraud dept of my bank;  someone is using my debit card number with a $1000 purchase  in Wisconsin, so the card is cancelled and I need to call the bank today; thank goodness they are on their toes, and she had no idea how they got my number but it needs to get changed as it is in bad hands.  What a strange world we live in!  Yes, there are still folks who steal in strange ways out there. 

            Lindsay, my caregiver for 4 weeks while Katt is in Spokane, gives me a hand with dinner, clean-up, organizing the fridge.  I  realize I shall miss her lovely company, like having a 21 year old daughter drop by to lend a hand, and then she’ll be returning to Tennessee for fall term.  She helps me design and order business cards on vistaprint for sharing with friends and letting folks know I wish to be a essential oils and health care consultant for doTerra;  I believe in their products and am seeing results in only 6 weeks.

Lindsay is a graphic designer, so she can do this much better than I can, and it saves me about $20 compared to the local print shop.  I weep after she leaves, for in a short time we’ve become friends and I’ve enjoyed her company.  Caregivers do move on, and when I especially enjoy them, it’s sad to have them go.

     This was a special day!  Now I need to attend to chores that need doing in the cool of the day, and prepare for my annual recertification interview tomorrow, requiring lots of detail work that is not my strength, but it’s necessary.

      Hope you are dealing well with the heat where you live.  It was great to have Katherine report we are okay being at the cabin on Aug. 11, as folks are scheduled to be there the day before and the next day, so our timing is good, and Kirt is likely to be there with his wife, as they knew mom well and want to pay respects, too.  Blessings to you, and my yu find some goodness in your day, too!  Love, Carol

LOVE IS LIFE-AFFIRMING

“Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at its destination full of hope.”
Maya Angelou      LOVE indeed, affirms the happy times, forgives the difficult times.

LOVE perseveres, letting go when that feels wise, holding on firmly to what nurtures us.

LOVE handles life’s many changes with grace, courage, hope that helps dispell our fears.

The more we learn to lighten up and be gentle with our own selves, the more we can

   be present and treasure our  friends, even if we go long periods without much communication.  I am not as concise as Maya, but she also has had to learn hard lessons from mistaken choices, trusting folks who were toxic for her, learning discretion that comes when we lose our innocence after being betrayed, rejected, left to find our inner strengths when there is no one by our side.  We all have lessons to learn, and our own unique paths to follow. 

    We all play many roles in our growing up.  Today I reaffirmed I can still cook a good casserole, made easier by cool temperatures outside, having all the ingredients on my home front, adapting a PBS recipe to suit my personal needs.  I am grateful to have caregivers, and grateful I’ve had an adult lifetime of appreciating healthy cooking, so it’s not unfamiliar territory for me.  Eating well is a vital way we advocate for our own health!  Bon appetit!

   THE PHOTOS above are of my casserole, enjoying Jeff's lovely vases, and my daughter Meagan's boyfriend, Jaimie, on a mountain  top in Chile!  All are about affirming life, enjoying what we love!

PEACE IS POSSIBLE

                                 Peace is Possible:  Imperative We Take Action

 Yes, peace is possible if we speak out for justice

          Stand up for Truth, take initiatives to support the changes we sorely need

           To create fertile grounds for life to be better for the Earth, for the many peoples still endangered by their own governments, for so many species threatened with extinction if we ignore their plights.

            It is imperative we stand up for causes that matter for future generations.

Yes, peace is possible, but not if we accept the status quo that glorifies war and oppression, and seems indifferent if not repressive to changing our priorities to honor one another and protect our planet as best we can.  We need to be part of the solutions now!

            It is true.  We are the ones we’ve been waiting for, the midwives to giving birth to a more sustainable, kinder world where our kinship with one another matters.  WHAT ACTION MOTIVATES YOU to make a difference today?

Will you weed a garden, plant flowers that attract bees and butterflies?  Take a child under your wing?  Congratulate a senator or a friend who stands up for justice?  Take good care of your own body so you'll feel healthier in the days and years ahead?  Every step matters.  Take some today!

IN MY TWENTIES

 

                                    IN MY TWENTIES,  I HAD NO IDEA

    In my twenties, I had no idea a poet lurked within.

Life was too busy being mom and wife,  yoga teacher,  a better cook, a teacher of kids who lived in a different world where they’d had no books at  home….

     It was a time of many changes, of wonder, frustration, disappointment, and the absolute joy of creating new life when Jeff and Neal were born.

     Time to write just didn’t happen, except the “good girl” letters homes, which were mandatory in my psyche then. 

      I awake this new day to news this is National Poetry Month.  Like other poets, I am amused with many art forms: commentaries on Facebook, loving live jazz and many other forms of music, dancing just because it feels good, creating jewelry, rearranging my home space with the ambition of seeing it become simpler, more organized.

      Alas, too often the poet inside doesn’t find her voice, or share it with others, as she would like.  Having just honored my 68^th birthday, it is time to give the muse within more space, regardless of the clutter.  For she is curious, adventuresome, playful, and undaunted, a bit like my cat Abbie, who has learned to retreat when I sit at this computer.

Thank God I am no longer in my twenties, and despite many challenges, the writer longs to come out and play.

       Grey skies, falling pink blossoms

        Daffodils strut their beauty, then fade

         Tulips of every shade begin to unfurl

           The drabness of winter without flowers

             Gives way to spring, reminding us to treasure

                This colorful landscape in our gardens, our meadows, our salads

                  Yes, it is the time of Rebirth everywhere!

Good morning to you this new day!  MAY YOU  FIND WAYS TO REJOICE IN SIMPLE PLEASURES1      Carol Browning